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some stuff i've written about church

Confessions of a Reluctant Christian

“Tell me your story,” he said. Where should I start? “Start at the beginning.” So I did. I think I was about eight years in when he stopped me. “Wait, you’re still a Christian, after all that? You realize that’s…

What I Wish the Church Knew About My Mental Health

Today’s guest post is from Jade Miller. She has written about her experiences with church, faith, and recovery in “Pieces of Me: A Collision of Art, Poetry, Essays, Faith, and Mental Health.” I’m grateful for her story.  Content Warning: Emotional/Spiritual Abuse, Suicidal…

Why My Boys Wore Spiderman Costumes to Church Today

“Daddy, can I wear my Spiderman costume to church?”  It’s Sunday morning and I’m trying to drink my second cup of coffee and procrastinating on getting dressed. “Go find some clothes so I can get you dressed,” I’d told Keenan….

Why I Love Blackjack

I lost a hundred dollars in Vegas last month. “I have no interest in gambling,” I’d said. “But I’ll play a few hands just for the experience.” Riding shotgun across the Utah desert bound for Sin City, I Googled “how to…

When We Throw Stones

“Let him who is without sin throw the first stone.” That’s what they say, when religious leaders are questioned about their abusive and manipulative actions. “We all make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. You wouldn’t want somebody airing all your dirty laundry, would…

Last Sunday

At Renovatus Church, there’s this liturgy we say every week before Communion: “This is the Table, not of the Church, but of the Lord. It is made ready for those who love Him, and for those who want to love…

When I Was Ashamed of the Gospel

Every time I read something Ed Cyzewski has written, I feel he wrote it just for me. Ed puts words to so many of my questions, doubts, and struggles of faith – and always offers a way forward. Today he’s sharing a bit from…

Love, Hate, and Dead-End Theology

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. By this the love…

Unlearning Christianity

“My starting point is that we’re already there. We cannot attain the presence of God because we’re already in the presence of God. What’s absent is awareness… We have nothing to attain or even learn. We do, however, need to…

My Innocence Was Stolen From Me

A few days ago an essay was published titled “My Easy Trip from Youth Pastor to Felon.” The narrator relates his story of a “spiral into sin”, detailing how his sin destroyed his life and ministry. It wasn’t until the very end…