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some stuff i've written about doubt

Dear God, I Have a Few Complaints

Dear God, I have a few complaints. Don’t get me wrong – I like You. I believe in You. Generally speaking, I think You’re doing a decent job at this whole “being the God of the universe” gig. But still, there…

When I Was Ashamed of the Gospel

Every time I read something Ed Cyzewski has written, I feel he wrote it just for me. Ed puts words to so many of my questions, doubts, and struggles of faith – and always offers a way forward. Today he’s sharing a bit from…

When We Are Healing

When I read these words by Sarah Ann Roginsky, I feel like she is speaking the heart of so many. She says things here that I have felt myself, many times. Maybe you’ve felt this too: Healing. It is not…

To the One Losing Her Faith

You tell me you don’t believe anymore. Your faith is slipping away, like sand through your open fingers. You say it as if it’s a simple thing, but between the words I can hear all you’re not saying: The sleepless nights…

Unlearning Christianity

“My starting point is that we’re already there. We cannot attain the presence of God because we’re already in the presence of God. What’s absent is awareness… We have nothing to attain or even learn. We do, however, need to…

We Had Hoped

Silence. Then suddenly, a breath. Cold air rushing into empty lungs. Grave clothes abandoned on a stone slab. An explosion of earth-shaking light. Hardened soldiers’ knees buckling. Trumpet blasts and angels singing and sunrise. Silence. Then the creaking of a…

God is Dead

God is dead, and we killed Him. With politics and religion, with rage and fear, with wood and nails and fists we tore apart the body of the God and left Him to hang alone covered in blood and spit and shame.

On Growing Up in Bill Gothard's Homeschool Cult

“Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!” they say. I hear it over and over again. “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. There was some good and some bad. Just take what good you can and leave…

I Don't Have My Shit Together

I don’t want to be a Christian writer, if it means writing from the heart and then hitting backspace until it feels safe again. I don’t want to be a Christian writer, if it means pretending that faith is something…

7 Things I Wish the Church Knew About Me

I didn’t write these words, but they speak what I’ve often felt. They come from Meghan Ableson – a friend who has left the “church”, but hasn’t left the faith. What she says here matters. Listen.  Dear Church, It’s coming…