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some stuff i've written about faith

How Firm a Foundation?

If I had been able to really believe, none of this would have happened. If I had ever been able to experience the God they spoke of in the way they spoke of Him, I probably would have been satisfied….

The Grace of Insignificance

recently a few folks have emailed me to tell me that they perceive me as sad, lost, hurting, or broken because of how i have been playing with language around ideas of god, faith, and existence. this always catches me…

I Will Cease My Relentless Deconstruction

I will cease my relentless deconstruction when I have excavated deep enough to find something solid upon which I can begin to build again. So far I have found only foundations that turn to sand when I rest the weight…

Most Days Humanity is a Shrug of Futility

Most days, humanity is a shrug of futility. My religion taught me to deny this fundamental existential reality. I was supposed to convince myself that god has a plan for my life. I was supposed to convince myself that I…

Once Upon a Time

once upon a time I was god. once upon a time I was a star. when I was a star I was god but I did not know it then. I do not know it now, either.   once upon…

Confessions of a Reluctant Writer

I stopped being vulnerable about faith a long time ago. I still write things that are true and real and come from a deep part of me but it doesn’t really feel risky anymore. I’ve said “fuck christianity” and “nothing…

God is Not an Asshole (and Other Things I Wish My Pastor Told Me)

We all wonder the same things: Is there a god? What is god like? And most of the time, we’re left wrestling with those questions alone.

Rend the Heavens (A Psalm for Advent)

This is my tired advent prayer. Fuck this shit indeed. Amen. Which, being translated, means: How long oh Lord?

Maybe I Don't Love the Church Anymore

I still long for SOMETHING to be the Kingdom of God here on earth, but I’m tired of hoping that any sort of thing labeled “Church” will actually be that thing.

day 24: even when I wonder about redemption

There are days when it seems like the story of our lives, and of humanity as a whole, lives on a razor’s edge between hope and meaningless annihilation.