A Review of Trader Joe’s (Shoreview, MN)

I normally am not one to review grocery stores, but I took a funny picture of a non-sequiturical avocado sign there a few days ago (“great for birthday parties!”) and tagged it and now Facebook is all aggressive like “HEY YOU WERE AT TRADER JOES YOU BETTER WRITE A REVIEW” and I’m like “chill tf out, Facebook. It’s only a grocery store, it’s not Black Panther” but nevertheless here I am.

To start off with, a trip to Trader Joes is outside the boundaries of my typical food-acquisition practices. I’m an Aldi man myself, but my girlfriend is like “If you love me we’ll go to Trader Joe’s instead. I know they’re the same company, but the food at Trader Joe’s is so fun and quirky!” So that’s how I found myself at Trader Joe’s buying organic avocados (“great for birthday parties!”) Lucky for all of us, I also support Trader Joe’s quirky foods. Those peppermint-stuffed oreo things they sell at Christmas? OMG HAVE YOU TASTED THEM? also, the Organic Whole Chocolate Milk. Straight nectar of the chocolate herds up in heaven. And the Almond Butter, it’s nothing to write an essay about but it’s good on bananas and hella healthy.

The staff was all friendly and kind. They felt like maybe they could be the cast of an indie movie. The guy who rang up our groceries had a glorious white beard, looked like Santa Claus’ more handsome brother.

It always throws me though, that the checkout guy parks your cart next to him, almost protectively, and then methodically unloads each item and scans it and hands it to you to place in your own free-cycled earth-sustainable bag with “Minnesota you betcha!” printed on the side.

It’s so different from the carnage at Aldi, where you pile the belt full while the person ahead of you fumbles with their credit card, and then when it’s your turn the checkout person says “How are you?” and before you even have time to answer they start whipping your bags of spinach and your pre-made guac and your knock-off Spam across the red laser thingy and slamming it into the cart at roughly the velocity of a minor-league fastball.

There’s a wine store at Trader Joe’s too, which is known for its Two Buck Chuck aka the PBR of Wine. When I was fresh out of college and had zero dollars, I used to buy that stuff by the case because it was three dollars (it’s only really truly Two Buck Chuck if you live in California). But now I have at least $7 or $8 to spend on each bottle of wine, so I went crazy and just picked out the wine with the coolest labels. And man, there’s some good ones there. Have not been disappointed yet.

When we glided out the doors of Trader Joe’s in Shoreview MN and set our course for the back of our minivan, my girlfriend let out a contented sigh and said, “I just love going there. It makes me so happy. I feel so good about Trader Joe’s.”

And if it makes her that happy, it makes me happy too.

Five stars.

originally posted on Facebook

 

 

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“idk just write the first thing that pops into your head”

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A Review of Trader Joe’s (Shoreview, MN)

September 18, 2018 | 3 minute read

avacoad

I normally am not one to review grocery stores, but I took a funny picture of a non-sequiturical avocado sign there a few days ago (“great for birthday parties!”) and tagged it and now Facebook is all aggressive like “HEY YOU WERE AT TRADER JOES YOU BETTER WRITE A REVIEW” and I’m like “chill tf out, Facebook. It’s only a grocery store, it’s not Black Panther” but nevertheless here I am.

To start off with, a trip to Trader Joes is outside the boundaries of my typical food-acquisition practices. I’m an Aldi man myself, but my girlfriend is like “If you love me we’ll go to Trader Joe’s instead. I know they’re the same company, but the food at Trader Joe’s is so fun and quirky!” So that’s how I found myself at Trader Joe’s buying organic avocados (“great for birthday parties!”) Lucky for all of us, I also support Trader Joe’s quirky foods. Those peppermint-stuffed oreo things they sell at Christmas? OMG HAVE YOU TASTED THEM? also, the Organic Whole Chocolate Milk. Straight nectar of the chocolate herds up in heaven. And the Almond Butter, it’s nothing to write an essay about but it’s good on bananas and hella healthy.

The staff was all friendly and kind. They felt like maybe they could be the cast of an indie movie. The guy who rang up our groceries had a glorious white beard, looked like Santa Claus’ more handsome brother.

It always throws me though, that the checkout guy parks your cart next to him, almost protectively, and then methodically unloads each item and scans it and hands it to you to place in your own free-cycled earth-sustainable bag with “Minnesota you betcha!” printed on the side.

It’s so different from the carnage at Aldi, where you pile the belt full while the person ahead of you fumbles with their credit card, and then when it’s your turn the checkout person says “How are you?” and before you even have time to answer they start whipping your bags of spinach and your pre-made guac and your knock-off Spam across the red laser thingy and slamming it into the cart at roughly the velocity of a minor-league fastball.

There’s a wine store at Trader Joe’s too, which is known for its Two Buck Chuck aka the PBR of Wine. When I was fresh out of college and had zero dollars, I used to buy that stuff by the case because it was three dollars (it’s only really truly Two Buck Chuck if you live in California). But now I have at least $7 or $8 to spend on each bottle of wine, so I went crazy and just picked out the wine with the coolest labels. And man, there’s some good ones there. Have not been disappointed yet.

When we glided out the doors of Trader Joe’s in Shoreview MN and set our course for the back of our minivan, my girlfriend let out a contented sigh and said, “I just love going there. It makes me so happy. I feel so good about Trader Joe’s.”

And if it makes her that happy, it makes me happy too.

Five stars.

originally posted on Facebook

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

“idk just write the first thing that pops into your head”

A post shared by Micah J. Murray (@micahjmurray) on

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