this is me.
who do you say that i am?
I am a prophet seeking a gospel worthy of my calling, I am a believer in search of something to believe, I am a voice crying in the void.
Always I have been this way. Always leaning further out over the existential edge of mystery in hopes that I might be able to grasp something real.
As a young child I was scrupulous (in the religious scrupulosity sense of the word), watching my step to make sure I stayed on the straight and narrow. I only knew of one path to God, and I was determined to follow it.
Through my life the path has wandered and split, opened up to more options, and eventually dissolved into a “field out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing” (Rumi said that).
What has stayed the same is my determination to seek the Divine, by whatever name it may be known.
I have learned that the Divine is only known by unknowing.
I have to come to believe that the Divine is hidden not in the supernatural realm but in the ordinary energy and materiality of this existing Universe.
I am a follower of the Mystery which has no Name.