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some stuff i've written about Spirituality

Don’t Help My Unbelief

I want you to know that unbelief in God is not a sin. I want you to know that atheism is not a bad word.

Summer’s End (August)

Since I left God the Father I have fallen in love with the earth that has always been my home. Allowing myself to feel this way about the reality around me has done more for the God-shaped hole in my heart than my Father in Heaven ever did. But…

Summer’s End (July)

Today I feel the ache of summer’s mortality, as July blazes out in a crescendo of sun and heat and humidity and I can feel in my skin that suddenly more summer is behind us than in front of us….

i make the river sing

This is now, now. Fuck. This is a new year. These are the first words of a new year. Time is meaningless, and so is existence, but I am ensnared in both, god in skin trapped in meaningless time and…

Why Won’t God Fucking Do Something?

It’s an amazing, intricate, world full of suffering and death. It’s not enough. But it’s all we have.

a to-do list for disoriented humans

sometimes people ask how the fuck we’re suppose to find meaning in an ultimately meaningless and absurd universe; for me, this is part of the answer.

How Firm a Foundation?

If I had been able to really believe, none of this would have happened. If I had ever been able to experience the God they spoke of in the way they spoke of Him, I probably would have been satisfied….

Always Has Been

last night i had a dream / vision wherein I briefly escaped this time/space-bound reality and saw the gods and us and everything floating in galaxies + grids. “come out here and dance with us,” the gods beckoned. I looked,…

The Grace of Insignificance

recently a few folks have emailed me to tell me that they perceive me as sad, lost, hurting, or broken because of how i have been playing with language around ideas of god, faith, and existence. this always catches me…

When Ego and Idol

finally are shattered