some stuff i've written about Spirituality

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Maybe I Don't Love the Church Anymore

I still long for SOMETHING to be the Kingdom of God here on earth, but I’m tired of hoping that any sort of thing labeled “Church” will actually be that thing.

day 24: even when I wonder about redemption

There are days when it seems like the story of our lives, and of humanity as a whole, lives on a razor’s edge between hope and meaningless annihilation.

day 5: daaaaaamn I gotta write some shit

what’s point of being holy if you’re not going to be happy while you’re at it? Also, why would god make butterflies and puppies and sunrises and nachos if (s)he didn’t care about our happiness?

day 4: random chance, bad luck, and sunshine

Yes, there’s a brilliant spark of creative intent at the beginning of all things but also: random chance, bad luck, sunshine, shitloads of human free will, evolution (maybe? don’t judge me), and lots of general shenanigans / fuckery. (how long O Lord?)

day 3: general existential discomfort

I’ve recently been increasingly aware of this design flaw in the system. And by “the system” I mean our whole entire human existence.

day 2: how life is supposed to feel

I’m realizing that “is this how this thing is supposed to feel?” is probably a counterproductive question. but still it runs laps through my head…

Confessions

It’s not often that you find a place like this where you can share a bit of your life completely unedited and uncensored and be met only with love and belonging. I’d love for you to listen in.

Trying To Feel God

I’ve spent most of my life trying to feel God. Perhaps all along She was as close as my own skin.

When We Hit the Wall

Three hundred drivers spun out and crunched against walls and guardrails and schoolbusses and semi trucks today, a frozen flash mob symphony of crushed plastic and bent steel.

I Accept

I so often forget that all of this is a journey. I resent the absence of a destination, of perfection. I wonder if I’m doing it right, if I’m doing enough.